For the Grooms (or Brides): Gay Wedding Gifts

Expended too much energy fighting Prop 8 to worry about gifts for your favorite new couple? Good job!

Since you've been waging war on the battleground of gay civil unions and marriages, we've done some "heavy gifting" for you. From budget-conscious choices for the unemployed among us (your friends will love you whatever you give) to top-shelf gifts for those on the money train, these gift ideas that every new couple will want to have.

A toast to the newly marrieds as our fight for equality continues!

Vitamix Professional Series 500

Lifelong friends aren't born, they're made--and giving this top-drawer Vita-Mix to the happy couple should ensure godparent status post-haste.

The top of the line of the highly respected Vita-Mix brand, this mixer is pro-quality in every way. The all-new pulse feature provides greater control than ever before, with a greater range of choice in final texture; it makes this mixer a de facto food processor in every way but name. We're also wild about the pre-processed selections that allow you to create smoothies, hot soups, and frozen desserts with the greatest of ease. The variable speed control allows you to go from low to high with a smoother motion than in lesser machines, and the stainless steel high-tech look will please even your most design-demanding friends. A gift from the gods!

$549 at Sur La Table stores nationwide and at www.cooking.com and www.metrokitchen.com

MAC Santoku Knife

The most important item in newlyweds' kitchen? A pro-quality knife--and it doesn't have to be German.

This Japanese-made santoku knife is only 6 1/2" long (!), but it does everything the big guys can do with style and finesse. The dimples (called "grantons") keep food from sticking to the blade, an occupational hazard with standard chef's knives. There's also a metal bolster between the handle and the blade to ensure optimal balance and handling. We're also suckers for the samurai-style lettering on the box-vry butch.

$95 at specialty retail shops and at www.dailygrommet.com/products/176

Jura Capresso Espresso Machine

When I was invited to the San Francisco wedding of two Stanford Law grads, I panicked: what to get two men who made six figures the day they left school, and now owned a mansion in Laurel Heights?

We all have friends who have everything but a Picasso... and maybe an authentic Swiss espresso maker. So why not form a present pool with a band of friends, and get the landed gentry something even they will be impressed with? The Capresso's patent-pending Zero-Energy-Technology uses less electricity than any other coffee center on the market and produces the authentic, espressi, capuccini, and latti in a slim, striking design--plus 18 bars of pressure, a professional-grade conical burr grinder, self-cleaning cycle, and automatic filtration (which means no calcification, ever). Top-shelf? Hey, even the big-shot lawyers will be impressed--and you'll have every excuse in the world to drop in for coffee whenever you want.

$899 at Crate & Barrel stores and at www.surlatable.com

Next :: Toasters, ties, dishes and more!

Breville Smart Toaster Oven

Since we can't be relied on not to burn toast, we're so not going to take an intelligence test against this space-age scoundrel.

The Breville Smart Toaster Oven has something called Element IQ Technology that directs power to where it's needed most. Nine choices--toast, roast, broil, pizza, even our favorite, reheat--are available for your cooking pleasure, so there's no need to guess among oddly named settings.

We also love the auto-rack eject, and have even banished our burn cream to the bathroom. Stainless steel and sexy, the Breville's a brawny brain. (Hey, big guy-where were you when we need you in AP Physics?) We'll never work for NASA, but we feel like a rocket scientist every time we go near our Breville. Man on the moon? Who cares--we're too busy admiring our perfectly sun-tanned bagels. (And no more fishing our burned pieces from a toaster with a knife--ever!)

$250 (a $50 savings off list price), with free shipping to anywhere in the continental U.S., at www.kitchenkapers.com

Riedel Red & White Wine Glasses

A glass that's sexy enough for water and wine? Meet Riedel's red & white "wine" glasses.

From the estimable Austrian company, from water to ice tea to mixed drinks, here's a perfect duo--just like the newlyweds. Thin, perfectly balanced, and a pleasure to drink from, these go from everyday to elegant in a heartbeat. Non-lead, machine blown, and dishwasher durable, they're also perfect for homes contemporary or classic glass. Sexy and symbolic, these glasses are ga-ga. A toast to the newly marrieds!

$30 at Macy's and at www.riedelwebstore.com

Stanley Lewis Luxury Tie & Sock Combo

Here's an idea we really like: matching his and his (or hers and hers!) Stanley Lewis ties for the Big Day.

Sourced from silk manufacturers near Lake Como, these luxurious cravats feature a 100%-wool interlining. The paisley and striped motifs are classic-meets-chic; if you're a white-shirt-and grey-flannel prep punkster like us, these are the perfect ties to shout "today" (with a well-honed lockjaw, of course).

Choose between the Statement (bold) and Signature (subdued) lines; we like the latter, of course. Each attractively packaged set incluces two of Stan's dashing tie-matching socks.

$175 at www.stanleygentlemen.com

Philip Stein Signature Watch

What do Oprah and Madonna have in common? (Hint: no KFC for Madge!) Answer: A publicly stated love of Philip Stein's to-die-for watches.

Fashioned of gunmetal crystal and featuring a classic white dial face, this is one of the most handsome timepieces we've ever laid eyes on. With large and small dials set for the time zones of your choice (don't we all have to jet between Paris and L.A.--or make 'em think we do?), this is a snazzy statement for the man on the move.

A large stainless steel case rests on a top-grade lizard strap--several styles are available, though we love the classic brown--for a look that quietly confirms "We're so UC, dear." Perfect time? A frequency technology using magnetic fields (the science, not Stephin Merritt's fabulous self) sees to that.

Whether you give matching styles or select a dazzling duo of Stein's sensations, your favorite couple will be spending their hours in signature style.

$655 at Neiman Marcus stores nationwide and www.philipstein.com

Love Buckle

How cool is this: matching love-buckle belts for the dashing duo. (Hey--marriage doesn't mean no one's checking out your goods!

Put a finger on the trigger with this mod metal buckle and genuine leather belt in black or pink. The clever picture window lets the happy couple stash protection for in-house or extracurricular activities. Playing safe while stylin' great? The Love Buckle has you covered: each order comes with three ONE condoms in the design mix of your choice.

$85 at www.ohmibod.com

Still more goodies to come!

Scanpan 11" Covered Saute Pan

If there's one stovetop standard every new couple needs, it's a covered saut� pan. (I've never understood why 90% of pans sold in this country have no lids, making braises impossible.)

This one's our go-to gift. Manufactured in Denmark, this stainless steel 11" big boy is the perfect size for a pair. (We have a 12-incher covered pan we never trot out; it's just too unwieldy for a single or duo act.)

Guaranteed not to warp, this is natural wonder: it features GreenTek non-stick technology, which means you can cook with little fat and less clean-up. Plus, it's something very few nonstick pans are: oven safe to 500 degrees. Your favorite new couple will use this for years--and think of your generous self every time they do.

$259 at Sur La Table stores nationwide and at www.surlatable.com

Cuisinart 14-cup Food Processor

Maybe I'm undersexed, and I've never been a romantic, but for me, the real reason to get hitched is to rake In the de rigueur wedding gift: a Cuisinart food processor. (As for other brands, my nose goes as high up in the air as if you'd said, "community college.")

This automaton delivers the is all that, and so much more. With 11- and 4�-cup work bowls nested inside the 14-cup bowl, and an adjustable 6-position slicing disc and reversible shredding disc, this state-of-the-art siren provides home chefs with every conceivable food processing function. Our best friend: the exclusive SealTight� Advantage System, which provides maximal bowl capacity and the cleanest possible processing and pouring. Packing 1,000 watts of power, this processor ain't no pansy!

$299 at Bed, Bath & Beyond and at www.kitchenkapers.com

Electrolux Versaility

We thought we hated to vacuum. But once we got a look at this sexy sister, we changed our mind.

The couple of the hour will dig the Versatility's tangerine space-age design and bagless cyclonic technology. It also boasts an anti-odor HEPA filtration system eliminates odors that captures 99.97% of pet dander, dust mites, pollen and mold for a superclean house. The easy-empty bottom dust cup makes dirt disposal a snap, and the large easy roll wheels make it maneuverable throughout your home. And how can any self-respecting queen not go gaga for a product that comes with a "Quick-Release Wand"?

$299 at Target and Best Buy stores nationwide.

Nokia E72

Smart phones abound. But if the new husbands or wives are captains of industry--or are interested in making their own business be primo--this new introduction from Nokia is the one for them. Its email capabilities are top of the line: desktop-like presentation for Microsoft Exchange or Lotus Notes sees to that.

The newlyweds can also keep in touch with personal and professional contacts through Nokia Call Connect, which adds desk phone capabilities. The Optical Navi key is brill: it allows for easy navigation across all program functions. There's also free access to Ovi Maps (for maps in over 180 countries)--with pedestrian and motoring directions--and event listings across the USA. Fine, Finns!

$349 at Amazon.com

Last page :: Creating a spectacular kitchen!

KitchenAid Artisan Mixer

When it comes to mixers, we don't think about a product that isn't KitchenAid, and niether should you. Their beyond beautiful Artisan series stand mixer features a unique tilt-head, designed to give you easy access to the bowl and beaters. (Remember the old days, when merely getting the bowl out from under required a doctorate in mechanical engineering?)

This looker features all-metal construction and a polished stainless steel mixing bowl--and we love the back-in-the-day red accents. With 325 watts of power and 10 mixing speeds, this will fill all of the newly marrieds' cooking and baking needs. Very best attribute: the slide control for power, which allows you to "feel" your batter-and go from slow to fast with more ease than ever before. The ace of cakes? You bet!

$350 at Home Depot stores nationwide, less at www.kichenkapers.com (with free shipping!) and Amazon.com

All-Clad d5 Stainless Sauté & Simmer Pan

Saute pans are a must, but sometimes you need one that's especially deep for braised dishes. Leave it to the good folks at All-Clad to make a company-ready piece of prestige cookware that's also a weekday wonder.

Brilliant braises? One-pot meals? This can-do piece combines the very best attributes of a saut� pan and a saucier, and now features All-Clad's patented 5-ply bonding technology for the most even heating and consistent results. The pan's wide base makes it suitable for searing and saut�ing ingredients, while sloped rounded sides contain liquids and facilitate stirring when you're simmering stews, whisking sauces or browning meats. And this stainless steel beauty looks pretty posh on tabletops, too.

$150 at Williams-Sonoma stores nationwide and at www.williams-sonoma.com

Le Creuset Terrine

From Le Creuset's popularly priced new Heritage Collection comes a piece you can be sure no one else will gift: the P�t� Terrine with Press. Its fancy French self features vertical sides and a tightly fitting lid, with an included stoneware press for compacting a terrine. The pressure eliminates air pockets that can ruin a terrine's texture. In as little as a few hours (but preferably overnight): perfect p�t�. Plus, good news for non-carnivores: this makes tasty veggie loaves, too.

$40 at Sur la Table boutiques, www.lecreuset.co.uk/en-us/ and Amazon.com