Butching Up Zumba: How to Be a Real Man in Girly Group Fitness Classes

I'm not afraid to have my ass kicked by women in workout gear.

Leaving the safety of the workout area with its comforting free weights and machines, I ascended the staircase in my gym to the exposed and glass-enclosed group fitness space, a place where few men in Fly-Over Land have the guts to visit.

Here is my journey into New Millenium fitness culture, a land of strange and exotic species such as Body Step, Body Jam, and Zumba.

Intelligent Design

As a business, physical fitness has grown up and matured into an all-inclusive retreat, an inviting refuge from the hassles of the outside world.

Lifestyle Family Fitness is one such business, and it is proof of intelligent design. Salespeople are friendly but not pushy. In the workout area, there's nobody shouting or grunting loudly, thank God, neither do people walk about with cell phones and yack as they exercise. Spandex is at a minimum. I actually feel like working out the moment I walk in, despite the fact that sometimes it is the last thing I want to do.

We are Family

Kevin and I didn't want to work out in a place where we were not welcome, so we went in together, making it clear from the get-go that we are a couple. Not one person we spoke with expressed shock or any discomfort with us, not then and not since. We signed up with the same kind of discount a heterosexual couple would receive. Our family was acceptable as a matter of course.

I've worked out at Gay men's gyms before, and honestly, I prefer to work out with the non-Gay but accepting metro set (there are on average two guys on the premises with faux-hawks at any given moment) at Lifestyle. Nothing against our own kind, but Kevin and I come to the gym to work out, not to cruise. Besides, we are not the only Gay people at Lifestyle- we see the occasional Sapphic woman and fellow G-man. But it's nice when it just doesn't matter.

One Day, They're Gonna Get It

The real story for me is my adventure in the land of hard-core fitness ladies. It is one thing to do unusual exercises with a one-on-one trainer. It is something else entirely to prance about doing aerobics, samba, merengue, and salsa with a roomful of people.

I am comfortable enough in my masculinity to do group fitness. Nevertheless, it was a bit intimidating to be the only man in a class of 50 women, some of whom didn't look to happy to see a dude in what would have been a women-only space.

There is also the issue of girly moves peppered throughout the routines. Not but a couple of the classes are free from arm and hip gestures that just scream "I'M A PRINCESS!!!!"

Now, I know there are plenty of nelly queens in our rainbow tribe that would instantly fit in fabulously at such classes, no problem. In this aspect, I may be more closely aligned with my stone butch sisters than my Nancy-boy brothers. Still, I'm learning to work a mean belly-dancer booty shake.

What helped me get over any initial discomfort were the instructors, all of whom made me feel welcome (although it took a couple of them a while to include "and the gentleman" when they would say, "Ladies").

One instructor who consistently wins over her class with her energy is Karida Cardoso who teaches Latin Fusion and Zumba. And this is no easy task: Karida is a classically trained dancer, and it shows. "I have to find a place between my training and the level of the general public," she told me. And she does. Her skills are matched by her optimism and faith in the people who come to her class. Even though we may feel like we will never get the moves down, Karida never gives up on us. "One day they're gonna get it."

Let's Go Crazy

What makes a great instructor for any of the group fitness classes is a touch of insanity.

Karida gets crazy, and you can see it because she looks like she is having the time of her life when she teaches. The same can be said for Shelli Sanzo who teaches Body Jam. "This class isn't about being a great dancer or even having rhythm. It is about getting healthier and losing yourself in the sensation of dance," she said.

My kind of class!

Shelli described for me the care that instructors take in making members feel welcome: "I get to class about 10 minutes early so that if someone wants to talk to me, I am there. I try to make contact with as many people as I can before the class begins. I want to make every person feel welcome. It is very intimidating to come to a brand new class alone and I want to make sure members do not have that feeling... I also let people know that it is okay to not get the move right away."

The confidence that instructors have is due to the intense training they receive. "I feel that my training was one of the hardest things I have ever done," Shelli told me. "Les Mills [the New Zealand company that produces Body Jam] definitely knows what it is doing. Each Les Mills class is a different training: Body Jam, Body Step, Body Pump etc. Each training consists of 2 or 3 days. I have only done one because I am attempting to build the courage and mental power to go through one again."

The intensity of the training is impressive. "It is a lengthy process and very difficult, but worth it," she said. "It definitely gave me the confidence to stand up in front of people when I have never instructed before." It also gives the instructors the freedom to really, really get into it and occasionally hoot and holler, which gets the rest of us pumped up.

Christi Condon, a self-confessed "group fitness junkie" who oversees the group fitness instructors, is the same way. "It's a big group having fun," she said, but the prep work that goes on to make it all come together is pretty astounding. Every routine is planned to the last beat of each song. There are different things that instructors must say, warning the class that they must do certain moves a certain way to prevent injury. But above all, the instructors must be inspiring.

This is the greatest strength of Lifestyle Fitness, and I felt it the moment I walked in. Getting physically fit is a personal quest, but it is best done with the help of others, be it with workout buddies, professional trainers or in a group fitness class with instructors leading the way.

I'm hooked. I honestly don't care if women in workout clothes kick my ass.

But I may still avoid doing group fitness near the windows where the men downstairs can see me. I don't need additional performance anxiety.