Bravo's "The Real Housewives Of New Jersey" Heats Up May 16

When we left the ladies of the Garden State last season, everyone had turned on Danielle - who has since exited the show pursuant of her own singing career with a smash hit single (not) -�and Teresa wasn't so crazy with all the hair-pulling she was doing... but she was bankrupt - that's what happens when you live outside of your means. So when Season 3 of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" begins, all the women are taking stock of what's truly important in life.

Caroline, the matriarch of the group, is dealing with the fact that soon her nest will be empty - her two boys are (finally) moving out of the mansion. And soon her daughter may be taking the next steps with her long-time boyfriend. Jacqueline, who last season was at the middle of all the mud-slinging and throat slitting, is coddling her 20-something year old daughter who interns for a big PR firm and wants to move into the city. When she doesn't get her way, she does what every self-entitled brat on reality TV does - she cries and says, "It's not fair!" And Teresa has got a whole lot of drama of her own to deal with - her husband has started a new pizza business, and Teresa herself is a celebrated writer jumping from book-signing to book-signing. What a fabulous life she leads! You'd think that with Danielle gone she'd be off the hook to just live the Jersey high-life... wrong!

Enter new Housewife: Melissa who is married to Teresa's estranged brother Joey - who looks marvelous without a shirt on... then he opens his mouth and says things like, "Women clean the house," and "I'll kill you!" Teresa blames sister-in-law Melissa for the distance between them, but Kathy, Teresa and Joey's first cousin, who is also new to the cast this season, wants nothing more than to bury the hatchet. In whose back, we're not entirely sure.

Sparks fly in the opening episode when Teresa and Joey get into an argument at, of all places, his son's christening. What a way to welcome the newborn into the Kingdom of Jesus! It turns ugly... even for Jersey, but this is why fans watch - and why scripted soap-operas have become obsolete! Say good-bye to "All My Children", which will be cancelled this year to make way for a (wait for it) a new reality-show drama!

If this is your schtick than hop on and strap yourself in -�this season of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" is set to be its biggest and most out-there. It'll have priceless moments for sure: everyone fighting, Teresa walking off-camera, and everyone yelling at Teresa... and then there's more of Joey shirtless. Oh, just watch; you know you want to. This is as close as any of us really wants to get to a Jersey housewife, and all that hair product, anyway!