Celebrity Chef Yigit Pura :: Nothing Sweet About Bullying

It is not uncommon, and in fact it is down right expected, for a celebrity to use their celebrity toward a worthy cause. We know all too well, that there is so much work to be done to better the world's community.

Since Yigit Pura became the first season winner of Top Chef Just Desserts on BravoTV back in 2010, Pura has parlayed is new celebrity into activism, most specifically, for anti-bullying causes.

As an immigrant who moved to the United States 20 years ago at the age of 12, Yigit not only was a victim to bullying because of his national origin and Muslim religion, but also because of his questioning sexuality at the time.

Now as an openly gay top chef and owner of Tout Sweet Patisserie in San Francisco who recently returned to Bravo for an unsuccessful search for a boyfriend on The Millionaire Matchmaker dating series, he has taken a stance to end bullying beyond the walls of schools and additionally advocate against bullying to parents and other adults.

Soon to add author to his job description with a book deal with Chronicle Books, Yigit has lent his name and time to participate in and raise money for programs to educate on the bullying issue such as the New Conservatory Theater Center's Youth Aware Program fundraiser in San Francisco featuring the Whiffenpoofs of Yale University and Taye Diggs on April 20, 2013.

I spoke with Yigit recently about his dedication to end bullying and how we have progressed in that movement, and the experiences he had with bullying that led him to his advocacy.

Young and in the closet

BeBe: You are a part of the Host Committee for the Concert To End Bullying on April 20th in San Francisco, and I know you have been an advocate of the bullying issue. How did this particular event become of interest to you?

Yigit Pura: Right after I won Top Chef I knew that my career and everything thing else would go through the roof, so, I thought I wanted to do a lot of charity and no-profit work to try and keep my ego and karma in check. Having moved (to the United States) as an immigrant as a person of color, and obviously, as a queer youth in the closet at an, let's say, oddly racist high school, I recall how difficult that was. And, I started getting approached by a lot of non-profit organizations and different charities, and bullying just stuck out for me.

I recall how difficult it was to be young and in the closet and everything, so I figured if that's (advocacy against bullying) something I can reach out to, that would probably be where I can be the most influential and helpful. It's actually a very rewarding way for me to give back. I come away feeling having gotten more than I've given.

BeBe: I am sure then there were times that you experienced some form of bullying by being in the high school environment you expressed with, though closeted, your sexual orientation. Can you share some of those experiences with me?

Yigit Pura: Sure! It was uncomfortable for me when I moved here at 12 years old because, I spoke English partially, but it was somewhat of a culture shock. It wasn't that I was an effeminate child or anything, but I was definitely a reserved child. I used to get picked on because of my national background and I was born Muslim. I used to get called faggot in school all the time. The thing is, at the time, I didn't even know all the derogatory intention that was behind the words. I just knew they were accusing me and attacking me for being different and not being like them.

It just felt impossible to belong. When you're a teenager that's all you want to do, right, is belong. So, to have that constantly thrown in your face whether through race, religion or sexual orientation it's a horrible thing. I think for the kids who are bullying, it comes from a lack of exposure to different nationalities, races, and sexual orientations. Living in a place like San Francisco, I think we are somewhat blessed. If you go in most parts of the city you can see all types of races and sexual orientations interacting. It's a 'no big deal' scenario. I think that is the overall future we want to strive for. It will help educate our youth to be more tolerant (of our differences), and also educating adults and parents, too. Bullying in not just with children. Even educating teachers is helpful so they know how o handle bullying situations when they arise in class or school.

Seen any progress?

BeBe: Since the time of your bullying experiences while in high school, have you seen any changes toward the betterment of our kids who are bullied, and if so what has been the progress toward eliminating bullying in schools?

Yigit Pura: I definitely think there are mounds of work yet to be done, but I think it is now a lot better from when I was in school. I did a program, I think two-and-a-half years ago, where kids 14-17 who were straight, gay, bi, or questioning could come to these workshops where I spoke. And there were so many people that were out and comfortable with their sexually. They had started Gay Straight Alliances at their schools and their teachers were talking about anti-bullying.

They had developed these posters that were up all around school about what words like faggot, gay and dyke mean and why it isn't a good thing to use them. They had equated the use of the words to the use of terms expressing racism and how inappropriate those words are. I definitely think is a movement toward (eliminating bullying). The majority of the work has to come from the schools and the parents.

I remember running into a little girl here in San Francisco while in the park with an ex-boyfriend and my puppy, and the little girl began to play with my puppy and we were talking to her. Her mother comes up and we begin talking and she explained that they lived in a little town out of the city, and that she likes to bring her kids to San Francisco at least once a month or so, so they can be exposed to different people. She wanted them to know what a black person looks like, what a gay couple looks like, and so on, so when they come a cross them in their small town that it isn't a pink elephant for them. I think that is huge.

BeBe: You know I have had a similar conversation with Gina Schock, drummer with the Go-Go's, and she believes that parents should be made to live with their children in San Francisco for five years to raise them (we laugh). Seriously, she believes, as you mentioned, that the exposure to diversity takes away he fear of the unknown. Whether it be different races, nationalities, cultures, sexual orientations.....all of that is in full force in San Francisco. The Concert To End Bullying that you are a part of with The Whiffenpoofs of Yale University and Broadway/Television Star Taye Diggs is a fundraiser for the New Conservatory Theater's (NCTC) Youth Aware Program. And here in San Francisco, we are in sort of a bubble. There is no other city like ours.

In a bubble

BeBe: You know I have had a similar conversation with Gina Schock, drummer with the Go-Go's, and she believes that parents should be made to live with their children in San Francisco for five years to raise them (we laugh). Seriously, she believes, as you mentioned, that the exposure to diversity takes away he fear of the unknown. Whether it be different races, nationalities, cultures, sexual orientations.....all of that is in full force in San Francisco. The Concert To End Bullying that you are a part of with The Whiffenpoofs of Yale University and Broadway/Television Star Taye Diggs is a fundraiser for the New Conservatory Theater's (NCTC) Youth Aware Program. And here in San Francisco, we are in sort of a bubble. There is no other city like ours.

Yigit Pura: I'm in love with San Francisco. Here it isn't even really about tolerance, it's about 'it doesn't really matter.' And, that's where we need to get to as human beings.

Be politically active

BeBe: I travel a lot, as I'm sure you do as well, and on those trips away from San Francisco I always come away with feeling blessed to live here. I can be who I am, whatever that is, here in San Francisco. I've always said that San Francisco may not be the best city to live when it comes to economics and housing, but it is the best city for me to live when it comes me being honest with who I am and feeling free to express that.

Yigit Pura: And with that, we have to remind ourselves not to become too complacent because we do have a certain amount of liberties that others outside of San Francisco don't have. We need to remember to be politically active until everyone is able to live as we do.

BeBe: Before you became a big celebrity with your win on Top Chef: Just Desserts, did you experience any obstacles as a chef because of your sexuality?

Yigit Pura: Obstacles, no, but certain hiccups, yes. I've worked at some of the best restaurants in the world, and kitchens to be testosterone driven... it's a guys world. Female chefs, I wouldn't say face discrimination, but definitely have a stigma that 'I don't know if you can do it as well as I (a man) can, or without complaining'. Within (working) the first few restaurants I came out openly, and they would either make light fun of the matter or they would kinda put me in that female stigma with they didn't think a gay guy could do as well as a straight guy.

Instead of getting offended by the situation, I decided to stick up for myself by having a really strong work ethic. When I was growing up, my mother told me that I couldn't bake because it wasn't a place for boys. So, my whole life whenever people have told me I can't d something or do it just as well, instead of getting pissed off, I would say if you think I can't do it, I'm going to do it twice as well as you can. I would work my ass of and be better than anyone else and pretty much showing everyone else that me being gay has nothing t do with my skill level, my talent, my work ethic or my passion for my career or my profession. I can do just as well (as anyone). When people see that, especially in a creative field, and see that sexuality has nothing to do with it, they become comfortable with (you). That's how you change minds, little by little.

Host Committee member Yigit Pura joins the New Conservatory Theater Center Youth Aware Program in the presentation of The Whiffenpoofs and Taye Diggs in The Concert To End Bullying at the San Francisco's Palace of Fine Arts on April 20. For tickets and information go to www.Ayayale.tix.com or www.nctcsf.org

Yigit Pura is the chef behind Tout Sweet Patisserie in San Francisco. Www.toutsweetsf.com