SF Pride Vacations Lead to Weddings

In town the other week celebrating their 20th anniversary during San Francisco's Pride festivities, Atlanta couple Pam Shaheen and Mary Beth Gabriel were enjoying a drink at Market Street restaurant Zuni Friday afternoon, June 28, when news came that California could once again marry same-sex couples.

The couple rushed over to City Hall and was the second to exchange vows. Their ceremony occurred only minutes after Berkeley residents Kris Perry and Sandra Stier, one of the plaintiffs in the federal case that led to the lifting of the state ban against same-sex marriages, wed on the opposite side of the Rotunda before a phalanx of television cameras.

"We discussed it Wednesday when the decisions came out but we thought it would take 25 days before the marriages would resume," said Gabriel. "We've talked about it so long."

The women, both 48, had joined the crowd at City Hall last Wednesday morning to await the U.S. Supreme Court decisions in both the Proposition 8 case out of California and a New York case that had challenged a section of the federal Defense of Marriage Act.

After the court struck down a part of DOMA and Prop 8, Shaheen proposed to Gabriel.

"I whispered in her ear at the base of the stairs will you marry me now," recalled Shaheen.

Gabriel, who said yes, had envisioned having a "quiet ceremony," perhaps just the two of them on a beach, while Shaheen thought they would plan a "big church wedding." It is up in the air if they will have another marriage ceremony before family and friends once they return home.

"The negotiations have just begun," joked Shaheen, who did text her mom and sister the news of the couple having tied the knot last week.

Even though their marriage will not be legally recognized by their home state, one of 37 with bans against same-sex marriages, the women are hopeful it will be seen as a legal marriage in the eyes of the federal government.

"We are hopeful about that," said Shaheen, adding the couple is "even more hopeful" that someday soon same-sex marriages will be legal nationwide.

Addressing the media following their ceremony, Perry and Stier pledged they would assist with efforts to overturn the remaining state-level bans against same-sex marriage.

"We will come fight for you. You all should fight to be married because you deserve it and your children do too," said Perry, who is raising four sons with Stier.

Between Friday night and Sunday, San Francisco officials issued 563 same-sex marriage licenses and recorded 479 same-sex marriage licenses. It was the only county in the state to perform marriages over the weekend.

"It is just overwhelming. We didn't think it would happen in our lifetime," said Chico resident Judy Yamada, 55, her eyes tearing up while discussing the marriage equality victories as she waited to witness Perry and Stier marry.

Yamada and her wife, Julia Bryant, who first married in 2004 and again in 2008, happened to be staying at the nearby Phoenix Hotel with their friends, Elizabeth Goldblatt and Amy Louis, who also married in 2008, for Pride weekend when they saw news about the wedding on Facebook and rushed over to City Hall.

"I am feeling elated but also disbelief, like someone is going to pinch me and this will have all been a dream," said Bryant, who has been with Yamada 32 years. They registered as domestic partners in 1991, and their children, now aged 23 and 18, had pushed them to marry.

"A lot of our friends said they wouldn't get married until it was federally recognized, so I think they will now," said Bryant.

On Sunday alone, during the main Pride festivities, there were 236 marriage licenses issued and 218 licenses recorded in San Francisco.

"Today was a remarkable day," stated Assessor-Recorder Carmen Chu. "I am deeply touched by the outpouring of support from our city employees and volunteers who took the time to be here at City Hall, working after hours and on their weekend, to perform our collective duties - that of ensuring that loving same-sex couples don't have to wait to marry any longer."

Monday other counties braced for a rush of same-sex couples once their clerk's offices reopened. In Santa Clara County openly gay Supervisor Ken Yeager performed nine ceremonies.

"I was proud to preside over the first legal same-sex weddings in our county in five years," stated Yeager. "It was heartwarming to once again put on my ceremonial robe and share in these couples' happy day."

Yeager said the county is expecting a higher demand for marriage licenses and ceremonies over the summer, so it will have extra service windows and ceremony spaces available. It also set up a new Express Marriage Ceremony Service, where walk-in couples can purchase a license to have their ceremony performed at the service window.

"I am so pleased that we won back marriage equality in California. This day has been too long in the making, but the chapel doors are now wide open for same-sex couples in Santa Clara County," said Yeager, who offered to perform ceremonies for any interested couples.

In Oakland Tuesday night Mayor Jean Quan, state Assemblyman Rob Bonta (D-Alameda) and lesbian Superior Court Judge Tara Flanagan were among the elected officials who hosted a special celebration at Oakland City Hall to marry same-sex couples.

Last week state Assemblywoman Nancy Skinner (D-Berkeley), whose daughter Sirona Skinner Nixon is an out lesbian, congratulated her constituents, Perry and Stier, on their legal victory.

"California has two courageous women to thank, for fighting the good fight," stated Skinner. "Their efforts affirmed a basic human right that will enable my daughter and all Californians, regardless of sexual orientation, to be treated equally under the law."