Hollywood Dine & Dash Fundraiser

The Rage Monthly caught up with celebrity writer, actor, comedian and physically thinning, yet still figuratively larger-than-life entertainment personality, Bruce Vilanch in advance of the 2013 AIDS Assistance Program Hollywood Dine & Dish Fundraiser, happening Friday, November 15 at a private estate in Rancho Mirage.

For a mere $1,000, attendees will receive the address of said estate and "enjoy the ultimate Hollywood experience dining with the stars as they tell stories of Tinseltown you've never heard," according to organizers. In addition, they'll get hors d'oeuvres, "premium cocktails" and "an exquisite dinner."

But the big draw for those who can afford the ticket may be the fact that, according to program officials, 100 percent of each ticket purchased will feed ten AIDS Assistance Program (AAP) clients for an entire month.

Rounding out a three-pronged elite celebrity-gossip attack squad alongside bestselling romance novelist and tell-all diva, Jackie Collins and award-winning celebrity photographer, Michael Childers, Vilanch will help ensure the conversation at the fundraiser raises eyebrows, causes guffaws and makes it hard to tell which attendees are enjoying more: the dish they'll be eating off of fancy plates-or that being dealt by three of today's ultimate entertainment-industry insiders.

So, without further ado, here's what Vilanch had to say about growing acceptance for LGBT people; how friends' HIV/AIDS diagnoses have impacted his life and why anyone should spend big money to hear him dish...

How has the LGBT community changed during your lifetime?

Just a smidge. We are now married parents driving a tank through Afghanistan. And, for my generation at least, we are survivors of a plague. Put it together and it's a waaayyyyy far cry from the florists, hairdressers and scared schoolteachers of "the day."

Has the battle for marriage equality replaced HIV/AIDS as the first thing the average straight person living in, say the Midwest, thinks of when she or he thinks about gay people - or was it ever that way in the first place?

In certain pockets of Teabagistan, the perception of gay people as diseased child molesters has never changed. But almost everyplace else, yes, it's different now. And that is solely because we came out of our own closets and identified ourselves to our families and coworkers and did it with pride and happiness. We stopped being an abstraction and became a reality. It's very difficult to hate someone when they're in your face and they're smiling.

Why do you make yourself available for AIDS Assistance Program's Hollywood Dine & Dish fundraiser?

Anything to escape Nutrisystem! My house is lousy with it. Oh, and I have managed to make myself available to any AIDS fundraiser that has ever asked me. We tragically owned this disease in North America when it surfaced 35 years ago; and I lost hundreds of friends and am still helping those of every walk of life who still suffer.

How excited are you about co-starring at the event with Michael Childers and Jackie Collins?

I want to sleep with almost everyone he's photographed and with almost every character in everyone one of her books and this is a great way to get started.

What takes up most of your time nowadays?

Fantasizing about Michael Fassbender, but occasionally I take a break to write. I do my one-man show and play other people in movies, TV and on the great stages of the land.

You have a very diversified r�sum�. Do you see your career predominately as that of writer or performer?

I'll ask my accountant.

What kind of perks come with being head writer of the Oscars?

You get to be in small spaces with incredibly rich, famous and attractive people. That's about it.

How did you get your start in the entertainment industry?

I was a child actor who somehow escaped rehab. Then, I became a writer because I was too young to get cast in the roles I was right for. I was a journalist when I met Bette Midler and she set me straight, or words to that effect.

Do you ever feel guilty that you got the entertainment career your mother always wanted?

How can you say guilt and mother in the same sentence? I thought that was altered by the Cliche Act of 1962. Or was that the one that Joan Crawford filibustered against? It's all a blur.

In addition to supporting the cause, why should someone pay big money to see you at the Dine & Dish dinner?

What are you gonna do, sit home and watch Shark Tank? Wait a minute, I was on that show; never mind.

How have you been impacted in your life with friends and/or family by HIV/AIDS?

I lost hundreds - and I'm not exaggerating - hundreds of friends, most of them fairly early in the plague years. It's not nearly so bad now, but a few losses trickle through every year. The ones who lived long enough to receive the cocktail often have a very hard life just maintaining their health. For one thing, it ain't cheap, and there is still plenty of discrimination out there.

So the rest of us have to maintain deep pockets and a steady vigil. At the beginning, the amount of loss and grief was paralyzing. But there was no time to stand still. We had to get active, and that was what saved many of us from emotional breakdown.

Are you encouraged by the progress that's been made fighting stigma and the virus itself?

Of course, but as anyone involved with fundraising will tell you, there's a fatigue that sets in. People think the problem has been solved and they can't believe you're coming at them with renewed requests. That's the latest wrinkle. And you know, you don't get older without new wrinkles - unless you're a Kardashian.

AIDS Assistance Program provides more than 500 clients with a total of more than $50,000 per month in food vouchers redeemable at Stater Bros. Supermarkets. To qualify, an applicant must have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS and have a yearly income of $16,245, or less than 150 percent of the national poverty line.

Tickets are still available for AIDS Assistance Programs's 2013 Dine & Dish Fundraiser. For more information, call 760.325.8481 or go to aidsassistance.org