Murray Hill's Transman Pageant

Only in San Francisco can you walk into a Valencia Street bar, pay a measly twenty bucks, and step into a world of pageantry that takes its cues from Donald Trump's women-objectifying Miss America competition and turns it into a celebration of trans masculine expression.

Okay, that's not completely true - it happens in New York, too. As a matter of fact, the Mr. Transman competition is now in its third year, but finally makes its San Francisco debut after years of sell-out performances in The Big Apple. And by sell out, I don't mean corporate sponsorship. I mean packed to the rafters with queer and straight folk alike cheering on brave, crazy and crazy-sexy trans male competitors who take beauty pageantry to unchartered and often unbelievable heights.

The competition was created in 2010 by comedian Murray Hill, perhaps most recognized as the exclusive host for international burlesque superstar Dita Von Teese's live show Strip Strip Hooray! Hill is also the founder of the infamous Miss Lez Pageant. With the growing spectrum of gender expression and identity, he decided it was time to put together an inclusive and trans-tastic trans-focused evening.

Launching the competition, Hill partnered with Original Plumbing, an award-winning magazine on trans male culture, started in 2009 by Amos Mac and Rocco Kayiatos. The event aims to create a positive space and raise the visibility of this piece of the queer community.

Six diverse trans men will compete in a variety of categories, including: swimsuit, interview, talent and evening wear. Past competitors have brought their A-game by devising elaborate characters, costumes, and personas. One past competitor played the part of a filthy-mouthed toddler. Another strapped stuffed kittens to his unaltered chest with bow ties, and another - a bodybuilder - performed a Victor/Victoria-esque dance to Michael Jackson. Not to be outdone, one year an hirsute competitor shaved "winner" into his body hair while being force-fed cupcakes.

Organizers anticipate this year will be no different. "San Francisco's competitors are completely unpredictable" Kayiatos mused.

Pageant hopefuls include: Lynn Breedlove, founder of the punk band Tribe 8 and self-styled Homobiles Daddy; Beau, a mountain man firefighter; Loren, an Instagram FTM fashion fixture; Mason, self-described as "J Banjee Realness with a Twist;" Dawson Montoya, a triathelete ("The sleeper, I think!" says Kayiatos); and none other than the genre-busting porn star himself, James Darling.

"I can't wait to see what James does in the pageant," Kayiatos said. "He's quiet in real life but on stage he just oozes sex." Consider yourselves warned!

Bringing some semblance of order to the guaranteed pageantry madness are judges of well-earned esteem: Ashley Fink, the actress best known for her role as "Lauren Zizes" on Glee; Brontez Purell, musician and zinester; Michelle Tea, award-winning author; and Shawna Virago, singer, musician, and creator of the San Francisco Transgender Film Festival. And if that weren't enough, DJ Boyfriend spins during intermission, and my own dance company, Freeplay Dance Crew brings some smoky sexy moves debuting its new dance piece, Talk Dirty.

For his efforts, the winning trans man receives a cash prize, a photo spread in Original Plumbing magazine, sex toys from Good Vibrations, a Stoli Vodka gift bag, and an enormous trophy custom-made in Queens, New York.

When asked what it means to win the title, Kayiatos responds, "This is just a night of pure entertainment, a moment for us to be entertained by the intricate aspect of identity. We don't have to overthink gender or identity politics - it's just a celebration of that. We get to appreciate how smart and sexy people are in this community."

Gay and transgendered pageants have been around for a long time. But there has never been a competition for FTM and trans men until now. But get your tickets and a your seats early, because while congeniality runs rampant in our community, so does a desire to see it all up close. Between Murray Hill's banter and this sexy slate of competitors, something wild is bound to go down.

Murray Hill's First Annual San Francisco Mr. Transman 2014 Competition takes place Saturday January 25, 8pm. Doors at 7pm, at the Elbo Room, 647 Valencia St. 552-7788. $15 in advance / $20 at the door. Tickets: www.elboroom.com