Whip It Out for the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Competition

In what may be the contest no man wants to win, owners of the New York boroughs' tiniest schlongs will gather on June 14 at a Bushwick's Kings County Bar for the second annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant.

As reported in The Gothamist, men with micro penises can come together (no pun intended) at what the website is calling, "the ultimate wet t-shirt contest for infinitesimal penises."

"The staff at King County Bar were all terrific and nice, always respectful. The crowd was great as well. Everyone seemed to just relax and have a bit of fun for the afternoon, which is good," said last year's winner, Nick Gilronan, who touted positive body image.

Contest rules are as follows:

"Our expert judges will take every little thing into account, including the contestants' poise in both evening wear and bathing wear, talent, personality, and how well they represent the ideal of a man with a small dong," reads the statement. "This day is about celebrating the fun-sized guys. Well-hung men shouldn't even think about crashing, they will be ejected from the pageant and humiliated!"

In addition to the crown and bragging rights, the winner of the contest will receive a cash donation to the charity of his choices, which can be himself.

Admission for the day is $5, first come first served, with a limited number of VIP seats available. Humorously, they will come with micro-bottle service and "personal attention from a penis kitten." No word yet on what that means.

If you are interested in becoming a judge or contestant, (little experience required), please send email to [email protected]. You must be over 21, and you must be able to attend in person (no photo or video entries.)