Hayward's Gay Prom Turns 20

It's that time of year again - gay prom season - and this year's Bay Area event is looking to outshine in the usual festive manner. But one thing sets this prom apart from past proms - it's the 20th anniversary celebration of what's now become a progressive tradition, the Hayward Gay Prom.

Hosted at Chabot College on Saturday, June 7 from 7 p.m. to 12 a.m. the dance is for youth ages 20 and under. This year's theme is "Rainbow Over Wonderland."

Project Eden, a substance abuse prevention and intervention treatment center in Hayward, overseas the Lambda Youth Project, a program designed specifically to support LGBTQ youth. In 1995, the Lambda Youth Project approached the City of Hayward about funding a gay prom. After a tense city council meeting attended by both dance supporters and religious protesters, the city council gave about $7,000 to the Lambda Youth Project but the money could not be used for the prom. The nonprofit used other funding sources and the event was held on city property and included a mandated police presence to de-escalate potential conflict between attendees, supporters, and protesters.

Today, Lambda receives $30,000 in city funding, $2,000 of which is used for staff time associated with the prom.

The "receiving line" outside gay prom is no longer a buffer between attending youth and protestors but now, rather, a welcoming crowd comprised of the Lesbian and Gay Freedom Band, supportive parents, clergy people, teachers, and other allies. Supporters said that the need for gay prom, despite advancements in LGBTQ equality, indicates there's more work to be done, said Rochelle Collins, program director of Project Eden.

"As a straight ally, I'm always profoundly moved after every single prom," Collins said. "When you're there, you realize there's still a need for acceptance. Harassment, homophobia, and bullying are a prevailing problem to this day. It still exists."

Within the last five years, reports of prom-related discrimination have surfaced in Pennsylvania, Utah, Mississippi, Alabama, and even California. Mostly recently, LGBTQ-identified students at a San Bernardino County high school were told last year by the school's administration to abide by "gender-specific" standards when choosing prom attire. The American Civil Liberties Union quickly approached the school district in support of the students.

National Center for Lesbian Rights staff attorney Asaf Orr specializes in issues related to family and youth, and strongly agrees with the need for gay prom. Despite a changing social climate that's becoming more LGBTQ-inclusive, he said, discrimination is still rampant and most of it goes unreported.

"As you get into more rural areas of California, it's just as conservative and scary as it is in traditionally conservative states," Orr said. "The ACLU's case is an example that it happens here in California. One of the issues with prom is that it's very imbued with tradition. There's a way it's supposed to happen and whenever you get those heavy social restrictions, you're going to marginalize a lot of LGBT kids."

Much of the time, Orr said, LGBTQ kids forgo attending prom to avoid the same harassment they experienced in the classrooms from their fellow students and teachers, harassment that keeps them from attending their classes, too.

"If prom is an automatic safe space, a place where they can feel comfortable and meet other people like them, that's incredibly powerful particularly for youth that feel isolated," Orr said. "What's really important for kids is that they get to be kids, and have a space to do that while society is in this process of changing."

And the changes are happening. Support from community churches and schools has increased, Kaiser Permanente is continuing its fiscal sponsorship of the event for the seventh year in a row, this year providing $2,500. Kohl's department store provided $2,000 in funding and is sending volunteers for the first time this year. Southwest donated the drinks. The total cost to put on the prom is between $7,000 and $10,000 annually, according to organizers.

Collins said that more than 300 LGBTQ and allied youth are expected to attend the dance.

With the help of Gay-Straight Alliance Network, every year Lambda Youth Project puts out a gay prom bulletin to GSAs across the state. Students from as far south as Los Angeles, east to Las Vegas, and north to Santa Rosa make the trip to attend. Youth and LGBTQ-related organizations come from all over the Bay Area to conduct outreach and facilitate activities at the event, too. There is no dress code and parents are welcome to attend or volunteer in support of their children.

"It's a regular dance with food, a photo booth, souvenirs, games with prizes, and adults supporting the youth," Collins said. "Everybody comes together on that day and it's a celebration of acceptance."

Zohal Abdi, 19, a genderqueer lesbian from Union City, underlined the importance of acceptance. This is her second year attending gay prom and won't be her last, she said.

"Gay prom allows individuals to show their true colors and express themselves without fear of judgment or exclusion," she said. "It's a safe space for LGBTQ and allies to experience the full 'prom experience' they weren't given in their high schools. It's still important because across the country there are couples and individuals facing prejudice and choose not to go to their proms. Everyone should have a fun prom experience."

Tickets are $25 and can be purchased at Project Eden's office, 22646 2nd Street, or at the door. Chabot College is located 25555 Hesperian Boulevard, Hayward.

To donate to or volunteer for gay prom, visit www.gayprom.org