Police Report Released With Details of Palin Family Drunken Brawl

When prosecutors in Anchorage, Alaska, announced Thursday they declined to file criminal charges over the boozy brawl that involved the Sarah Palin's family in September, political pundits and trash TV fans everywhere felt as though they were going to be cheated out of what was sure to be the "WrestleMania" of all court cases.

But thanks to the release of 26 pages of police reports released by Anchorage police Thursday, Palin lovers and haters alike can re-live the events of Sept. 6 that made headlines for the failed 2008 GOP vice presidential hopeful and Tea Party darling.

The police report, which reads like a white trash version of Kurosawa's classic film "Rashomon," features a cast of over 15 characters interviewed by five police officers. The statements offer conflicting, yet strikingly similar, accounts of the melee.

What appears consistent in all witness statements is that at least two separate fights broke out at the party: A front yard fight involving the Palin's eldest son, Track, 25, and his father Todd brawling in a cul-de-sac, and a separate backyard fight involving the Palin's eldest daughter Bristol, 23, of teen pregnancy and "Dancing With the Stars" fame, and the host of the party in question.

According to Track, who by Officer Justin Blake's account "acted belligerent" and appeared "angry and intoxicated," the fight began because of a friend of his who was sucker punched.

According to Bristol Palin, who was described by Officer John Daily as being "heavily intoxicated," her fight began when she went looking for a woman who allegedly hit her sister Willow. In her account, she claims that the owner of the home where the party was held, dragged her on the ground and called her "slut" and "cunt."

Youngest Palin daughter, Willow, corroborated her sister's account of the fight and added that onlookers at the party were chanting "Fuck the Palins!"

According to Todd Palin, who apparently was involved in both brawls, he got involved in Track's fight when "everything escalated and it was a situation they could not walk away from." Todd also claims that his daughter Bristol was knocked to the ground by the host of the party, Korey Klingenmeyer.

Klingenmeyer's account of the brawl was more detailed than Bristol's.

According to the police report, Klingenmeyer, who appeared to be mildly intoxicated, was aware of the fight in the cul-de-sac involving Track and Todd Palin, and advised his guests not to get involved and stay in the backyard.

Several minutes later, Bristol Palin came to the back of the house shouting that she was going to fight a female party guest who allegedly pushed her younger sister, Willow. Klingenmeyer claims to have told Bristol that there would be no fighting at his party, and asked her to leave, at which point she said she that he "didn't own the place" and that she would "kick his ass."

Klingenmeyer said in the report that Bristol punched him in the face five or six times before he grabbed her fist and she fell to the ground. He asserted that she got up and tried to hit him again and fell to the ground a second time after he grabbed her fist.

According to Klingenmeyer, at that time, three to four men came up the driveway, one yelling that he was going to beat his ass for beating his sister. Several of the guests stepped in to help him and a larger fight broke out where "the Palins ended up losing."

As a coda to the brawl, after it was over, he claims that Bristol came up and tried to hit him again.

Five eyewitnesses back up Kliengenmeyer's account in the police report.

In Officer Ruth Adolf's report, party guest Matthew McKenna, said that after helping to break up the fight involving Track and Todd on the street in front of the house, he told the elder Palin to get his "crew," get in the limo and leave. McKenna claims to have then gone back to the house where he saw Bristol punch Klingenmeyer in the face six times while he just stood there while "a bunch of wives tackled her ass."

McKenna claims to have picked up Bristol and took her to the street where he sat her down. At that point, Todd and Sarah Palin were there asking what happened. He told them to leave. Nobody listened, and yet another fight started.

McKenna stated that Bristol and Willow, who is 19 and not yet of legal drinking age, were both drunk.

Thirteen pages of the police report can be viewed in their original unedited glory by visiting The Smoking Gun.

In the police report, Klingenmeyer claims to have seen a party guest filming the incident.

Let the Palin lawyers and TMZ bidding war begin!