Student Sent Home for "Gay" T-Shirt

A week ago, an Ithaca, NY student was given the choice: ditch the "Gaye Fine By Me" T-shirt, or go home.

Heathyre Farnham chose the latter.

The Etten High School sophomore was taken aside by the school principal last Friday, and told that her T-shirt's message was not appropriate for school. The principal sent Farnham to the dean of students, who also said the T-shirt was unacceptable. After trying unsuccessfully to phone her mother, Farnham consulted with the principal, who told the girl to don another shirt, alter the shirt she was wearing, or leave the school, according to a story posted last week by The Ithaca Journal.

Once back home, Farnham got hold of her mother, Brynda Beeman. The advice Farnham got from her mother was to call the media.

The principal, Ann Sincock, would not comment on Farnham's T-shirt specifically, but she did say that the school's dress code prohibits "disruptive" clothing or hairstyles.

Sincock would not comment on Farnham's T-shirt's slogan, saying only that the issue of what constitutes disruptive clothing is a judgment call left up to school administrators.

Sincock said that many T-shirts worn by students are "right on the edge," referring to sexuality or drugs, but said that she did not want to see her school ban T-shirts with slogans or institute a school uniform policy.

Said Sincock, "We don't want to go there. We hope parents have conversations with their kids about what is appropriate."

Sincock said that students who refuse to cover or alter clothing found to be disruptive would be subject to disciplinary action.

Farnham told the press that she had worn the shirt on previous occasions with no complaint, and pointed out that the message did not demean any group or individual.

Said Farnham, "I think that it's an expression of an opinion, that... more people need to be open to."

Continued Farnham, "I don't think someone who's gay can help being gay. I have friends who are gay and none of them had a problem with the shirt."

Added Farnham, "It's not putting anyone down. It doesn't say straight people suck, it doesn't say gay people suck. It just says it's OK to be gay."

Beeman said that her daughter was "not a rabble rouser," and that she supported her "100 percent." Farnham had gotten her mother's permission to wear the shirt to school, and Beeman said that she saw no reason why Farnham should not wear the shirt back to school. Beeman said her daughter is not gay, but has gay friends.

Beeman noted that religious issues had proven disruptive the previous school year, with students saying that their lessons at school contradicted their religious training.

Said Beeman, "There're six churches in the area," and added that the locale "tends to revolve around this religious hub."

Added Beeman, "It tends to infiltrate into the school. Last year classes would be interrupted by period-long debates, that 'they shouldn't be teaching this.'"

Said Beeman, "We're very tolerant of people's beliefs, but we don't want them shoved down our throats and that tends to be what happens."