Haggard Blames 'Sexual Immorality' on Childhood Molestation

Few evangelical leaders have seen their careers disintegrate the way that Ted Haggard did three years ago. Now, in a new documentary, Haggard is putting the pieces together again.

The once-prominent megachurch pastor, who famously spoke of his own "sexual immorality," condemned gays and lesbians for their "lifestyle" as a leader of the evangelical movement. But all along, he now says, he was wrestling with same-sex attraction.

In the new documentary, which was made by Alexandra Pelosi (whose mother, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, is the Speaker of the House), Haggard claims that his feelings of same-sex attraction stem from childhood episodes of sexual abuse at the hands of his own father, according to a Jan. 8 article posted by ABC News.

The documentary, titled "The Trials of Ted Haggard," is scheduled for broadcast on Jan. 29 on cable channel HBO.

The ABC News article traced Haggard's rise as the founder of New Life Church, a Colorado megachurch, starting with a small congregation that met in Haggard's basement and eventually growing into a membership of over 12,000.

Haggard's prominence in evangelical circles grew along with his church. The ABC News story noted that, for a time, Haggard and President George W. Bush spoke weekly by telephone.

But when a male escort stepped forward with details about an alleged ongoing relationship with Haggard, including claims that drugs were involved, the evangelical leader saw his influence evaporate and his association with the church he started come to an end.

Pelosi also spoke with the escort, 52-year-old Mike Jones, who was cited in the ABC News article as saying that even as Ted Haggard was trying to chart a new life course in the aftermath of the scandal, Jones, too, was facing difficult realities.

The documentary, Jones said, was a "last gasp" by Haggard "trying to get back in the spotlight."

Jones was in the spotlight a fair amount, also, and authored a book about his "outing" of haggard, which he said was prompted by Haggard's support of an anti-gay Colorado state amendment, which was approved by voters in the 2006 election and wrote anti-marriage equality discrimination into the state's bedrock law.

Said Jones of Pelosi's film, "I don't know how much she used of me, but if she puts nothing in she does me a disservice."

Added the former escort, "She filmed me at book signings and presentations and got the crowd reactions."

Added Jones, "One of the biggest things that came out in front of the groups is, 'What right did you have to make this public? You should have kept your mouth shut.'"

Jones went on, "My life has been like a cancer eating away at me.

"I have been at the epicenter of the scandal."

Added Jones, "I know when [Haggard] starts speaking [to the press about the documentary] on Friday, he's going to come after me.

"The documentary will pull at the heart strings, 'Hey, feel sorry for me.'"

Added Jones, "The ironic thing is that Ted Haggard and I are going through the same thing."

Haggard initially agreed to a church-directed program of spiritual rehabilitation that took him and his family to Arizona, before discontinuing his agreement with the church, returning to Colorado, moving into a $700,000 home, and taking up work as an insurance salesman.

Jones was left scrabbling for employment, finding work as a house sitter and doing personal training.

Haggard has embarked on his own program of redemption. The ABC News article reported that Haggard delivered a talk to an evangelical church in Illinois in November, in which he offered his apologies, spoke of suicidal thoughts, and lamented that the scandal led to the church forcing him to the margins rather than seizing the moment as an opportunity to "communicate the Gospel worldwide."

But another perspective was offered by Focus on the Family vice president of church and clergy H. B. London, who was quoted in the ABC News item as saying, "It was Ted, unfortunately, who walked away from the restoration process he agreed to before it was completed."

Added London, "Personally, I think the church and its leaders went to great lengths to accommodate the Haggard family and to treat them with respect and great concern."

An example of the church's consideration toward Haggard and his family, the report said, was considerable financial support: a year's worth of salary for both Haggard and his wife, along with funds for counseling, housing, and treatment for their son, a special-needs child.

Even so, the documentary shows Haggard expressing feelings of abandonment, with the former evangelical leader saying, "The church has said, 'Go to hell.'

"The church chose not to forgive me."

The picture now is rosier, according to Brady Boyd, who replaced Haggard as leader of the New Life Church, although Boyd acknowledged that immediately after the scandal broke, emotions were strong.

Boyd was quoted as saying, "Any time a high profile leader is removed, there's no easy way to do it, no matter how good the intentions."

Added Boyd, "There is still a lot of pain and hurt, but a lot of the mistakes that were made in the process have been resolved."

Boyd said of the evangelical movement's former leader, "He has no desire to be a pastor again, but he feels he has a message of redemption for a lot of people struggling with sexual issues."

The ABC News item said that in the film, Haggard is seen taking the evangelical line on the issue of gay and lesbian families, saying that, "God's best plan for human beings is for men and women to unite together."

Adds Haggard in the film, "And children's best opportunity to grow up in a healthy way is to grow up in the home with their biological parents."