May 21, 2014
For Optimum Health, Eat, Sleep, Relax and Have Great Sex
Stephen Mosher READ TIME: 3 MIN.
I am a pretty extreme person. At least I have been, throughout my life; but, as I approach (rapidly!) my fiftieth birthday I have been thinking about taking things a little easier; indeed, I have actually started to relax a little and stress out less.
Natch, I have often heard of people doing this as they approach middle age and, content only to follow my own path, I am now discovering the truth in this philosophy. Boy, let me tell you that it has changed my life.
Sleep -- know more. I pulled my first all-nighter when I was 13, with mom, working on a school project. I lived my entire adult life doing this for a variety of reasons: partying, working, insomnia.
Now, when I awaken in the middle of the night, I make a deal with myself: go pee, get some water, be back in bed within ten minutes -- if I go past ten minutes, I have to clean something -- the bathroom, the kitchen, whatever. If awake, do something. It usually drives me back to the pillow.
My teacher at the New York School of Personal Training taught me this: you cannot catch up, on the weekend, on the sleep that you didn't get during the week. It isn't a bank with deposits and withdrawals. Get as much sleep as you can, every day. The hours that you sleep before midnight are actually more restful than those you sleep after midnight. Naps are not just for old people and babies anymore.
Eat it. For years, the diet that I maintained could only be described as bleak. You could see every muscle in my body -- and a few bones, too. The reason for this is that I had no body fat. I ate nothing that didn't exist in nature -- vegetables and meat, mostly. Very little dairy or sugar.
One day a nutritionist told me that if I wanted to bake brownies (something that I do, now and then) I should use butter and sugar instead of margarine and sweeteners; the processes that these "foods" are put through are more dangerous to the body than the natural foods. She told me that the chemicals from fat-free and sugar-free grocery store items stay in your intestines for years. I have a more relaxed diet now and I don't look like Skeletor. Also, I don't want to kill anyone.
Take a chill pill. Did you notice that list that was all over cyberland last January? The one that named all the famous successful people who meditate? It's not a cult, you know. It happens to be true. Meditation helps you to focus and see the world clearly; and when you can see the world clearly, you can fix anything and enjoy everything.
I think meditation is a little daunting for people because they think it takes work. No. It just takes a willingness to turn off the phone, the computer, the TV and the tablet. You could light candles and chant, you could lie on the floor and look at the ceiling, you could sit outside under a tree and breathe, you could do tai chi.
Only do this one thing for yourself, every day. Turn it off and let your mind wander. Meditation isn't about emptying your mind; it's about letting the thoughts drift by, saying "hello little thought" as it passes, and waiting for the next thought. It's good for all the parts of you and you can teach yourself or go to a meditation center for guidance. But you have to turn the phone off. It's one of the rules.
Let's get it on. I don't think anyone (ok, any man) on their death bed says "I had enough sex." Don't let moralists and fanatics tell you that it isn't healthy to have a good sex life. Don't be slut-shamed into not having fun -- it's good for your body and, certainly, good for your morale.
This is a healthy thing to do, even though some people would like to govern peoples' passion for the indoor sport. Work can wait. So can that movie, expensive dinner, theater tickets and so much more. Grab your honey and have some fun; and if you don't have a honey, there are apps that will find you a honey. Just remember: sex without love is just exercise.
What is that thing they say? La Dolce Vita? So, just in case reincarnation doesn't exist, make it sweet while you can. Like, now.
Stephen Mosher is a Texan with a background in photography, writing and physical fitness. He has published one book of photographs, been the subject of the documentary film "Married and Counting," blogged on topics ranging from addiction to the arts, from health and fitness to his southern roots. He, his husband and their family reside in New York City. www.StephenMosher.com